A pivotal moment

Something happened yesterday that may change the course of my life.  And believe it or not, it happened at a church meeting.

I was at a Spiritual Guidance meeting (a group from our church that sets the tone for the congregation, does long-term visioning, encourages spiritual growth, etc) last night.  We were discussing the ever so life-giving topic of membership and baptism and covenant renewal (I’ll spare you the details, as they are quite unimportant to the story).

In the middle of a life-giving conversation, our lead pastor looked around at the those of us under 35 and said, “Well, I don’t want to impose my way of things. I grew up a certain way, and I am learning that my way doesn’t always work with the realities that we face today.”

And then my heart stopped.

And I got scared.

Let’s back the boat up even more. I started being a pastor at age 22 at a church where people over 50 made all the decisions.  The church had a history of being set in its ways and expecting people to conform to their worldview, and didn’t like people rocking the boat.

I, being a tad cocky and arrogant at times, loved rocking the boat.  And rock the boat I did.  I would challenge and push and prod people all the time, knowing that if I told them they should move a foot, they’d move an inch, and I would call that success.  I could more or less say whatever I wanted, because I knew it would never happen.

Yesterday wasn’t dissimilar.  I was on a tangent, passionately speaking about something or another.

But then, after our lead pastor made that comment, I realized something.

What I am saying might actually happen.

Holy Crap… Is that what I really want?  If I want the church to move 12 inches, am I ready to stick my neck out?  Do I know what I’m saying?  Is it worth the conflict?

What I say actually matters.  People actually listen to me.  And might just follow (or not follow) me in a lot of ways.

And this changes everything.

No longer can I be the antagonistic bugger, knowing that most people will only move an inch.

I must lead a tad more carefully… Hopefully there isn’t too steep a learning curve.

2 thoughts on “A pivotal moment

  1. Very perceptive Kyle! Words fall out of our mouths so easily….. And can never be retrieved. Speaking as a former (and sometimes even today) cocky rabble rouser I remember numerous occasions just like you described. I thank God for the patient elders who gave me the leeway to try my ideas, to fail, to pick me up and let me try again.
    Yes they had the wisdom of years of experience which I have learned to value as I matured b/c now I am on the other side! Now I must learn to allow others the same grace as I was allowed. Of course all within and under the umbrella of the guiding scriptures. As new ideas are brought forth, remember to test them against the Foundation.
    Look forward to reading future posts.

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